Nobody likes to be told “no.”
One of the most difficult things parents do is to say “no” to a child’s request. All of us want our children to be happy and we want to see them smile. We recognize, however, that sometimes they need to hear the word “no.”
We can’t always expect a child to understand the reasons a particular request is not in their best interest. As caring adults, we bear the responsibility of doing what is best for our children even when they don’t understand.
Sometimes, God says no to our requests as well. As a loving Heavenly Father, He knows what is best and withhold from us anything less than that best. I have discovered that while God’s “no” is often not pleasant, nevertheless it always leads to His best for me.
Reasons God Says No
God does not arbitrarily or capriciously say no; as with all of His other actions, He has a purpose. Let’s consider some of the reasons God says no to some of our requests.
1. We harbor unconfessed sin – Psalm 66:18
The Bible makes it clear that we all sin and sin breaks our fellowship with God. (1 John 1:5-10) Maintaining the open line of fellowship with God is the most important need we have in life. Before granting any other requests we make, God wants us to deal with sin that breaks our fellowship with Him.
God says no not to punish us, but to focus us on the greatest need we have – fellowship with Him.
2. We ask selfishly – James 4:3
Consequently, another reason God says no to us is because our request is self-focused rather than kingdom-focused. In the Model Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray for the accomplishment of His will and kingdom. (Matthew 6:9-13) God delights to give us things that advance His agenda, and He is loathe to grant us our selfish desires.
3. Our request is not good for us. – James 1:17
The verse above teaches us that God gives us whatever is good for us. The phrase “good gift” reminds us that God has given us anything good we already have. The phrase “perfect gift” teaches us that God will give us everything that could possibly be good for us.
Often God says no to us for our own good. I can think of specific times God said no to my request when I later looked back in thanksgiving.
4. The timing is not right. Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11
Sometimes, God says no only for a season. He may intend to eventually grant our request, but He knows a future time will better serve His purposes. As Solomon observed, God makes everything beautiful in its time.
5. God wants to test our persistence. Luke 18:1-8
In the parable of the persistent widow and unjust judge, Jesus encouraged us to “always pray and not lost heart.” Since He enjoys our fellowship, sometimes God says no for a season to keep us in prayer. That time of seeming delay, however, is also for our good. During the season of delay, God is shaping us and building our faith in Him.
How to Respond When God Says No
1. Trust the goodness of God. Know that God has a very good reason for saying no to your request.
2. Examine your heart for lingering sinful attitudes and/or actions you have not addressed. Exercise 1 John 1:9, confess, receive cleansing, and move on in obedience.
3. Consider your motives for your request. Ask God to help you seek HIS kingdom first.
4. Continue to pray until you sense you have received God’s final “no.”
Do not lost heart when God says no, it may only be temporary. Even if not, you can trust His wisdom and goodness, and know He will give you what is best.
What are some lessons you have learned when God says no to you? Feel free to comment and share with us.