I Am Offended!

offendedI AM OFFENDED by so many people being offended!

We throw the word “offended” around so much these days that we have obfuscated its meaning.

Some take “offense” with flags and statues that refer to a dark part of our actual national history. Others take “offense” with people exercising their displeasure with social injustices by choosing not to stand during the national anthem. Still others take “offense” with others who fail to see their point of view and take their side in any issues.

We throw the word “offended” around so much these days that we have obfuscated its meaning

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What Is an “Offense”?

In a biblical sense, “offenses” translates the word skandalon from which we get our English word “scandal.”  The word has two basic meanings.  On the one hand it refers to causing someone to stumble or sin.  On the other hand it refers to considering someone (usually Jesus) or something (usually the Gospel) worthless or undesirable. Neither scenario was considered a good thing.

Today, however, we claim offense when something runs contrary to the way we think it should.  We equate an offense with disagreement or dislike.

 We equate an offense with disagreement or dislike.

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Four People Who Will Ruin Any Church

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There are four very dangerous members of every church I have ever seen. Admittedly, sometimes I have invoked their names myself, thinking that they were my friends and that they were on “my side.” But every time, I soon found out they were snakes in the grass – not my friends, but very dangerous adversaries.

Somehow, they manage to get appointed to every committee or ministry group in the church. They are the most faithful members of the church; they NEVER miss, NEVER get sick, NEVER take a vacation, and NEVER play hooky. They fill their pew every time the church doors open. At first glance, they seemed to be pillars of the church, but now I realize, they are pure poison.

Some of you reading may know them; you may be their kin. In fact, you may be them. At times, I have to confess that sometimes, I am “them.” Who are these four members? I, Me, My, and Mine. I call them “The Quartet.”

One of the most dangerous things that can happen in a church is for any one of the body parts to become overly “self-aware.” Church does not belong to me. It is not my church. In fact, it is not even “our” church. The church has been bought and paid for and is under singular management – we are the body of Jesus Christ. In Ephesians 4, Paul warned us that unity would be a chore to maintain.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. – Ephesians 4:3

Paul calls the task of maintaining unity an “effort.” It does not come naturally, easily, or automatically. Notice the hub around which the wheel of unity rolls – the Holy Spirit. We cannot have unity around the Quartet. Unity is not achieved by either unanimity or majority opinion. There has to be ONE singular central place where the buck stops, and in Jesus’ church the buck stops with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the Soloist in the church’s performance. He is the Superstar. The best The Quartet can hope for is to be the backup singers, the supporting cast. The Quartet has to take a back seat to the Soloist. Church only works when you and I seek the will of the Holy Spirit even to the exclusion of our own desires and preferences.

In the ensuing verses of Ephesians 4, Paul goes on to use the word “one” seven times referring to God and His work in and through us. That is the basis for our unity. Not a preacher, not a deacon, not a class, committee, ministry, and certainly not The Quartet.

It’s not about Me… or I… or… My… or Mine.

He [Jesus] must increase, but I must decrease. – John 3:30

 

Time to Stop Choosing Sides in Church

One thing we did when playing ball at school or in the neighborhood as kids always causes awkward and uncomfortable moments: choosing sides. I hated being the team “captain” and having to choose whom I wanted on my team. Invariably, someone would get their feelings hurt because a captain chose them after someone they thought was not as good a player. The strategy was not always to choose the best player, but to choose one’s closest friends. I always felt sorry, too, for the last person chosen.

As uncomfortable as that was for a childhood activity, it is equally uncomfortable, and infinitely more abominable in God’s eyes when we do it in church. You know the scenario: something doesn’t go someone’s way and that someone sets about recruiting people to be on his “side.” It is even more shameful when done by one in lay or pastoral leadership.

Our role as leaders is to equip the church to function efficiently and effectively as a cohesive body. Gathering “our people” to support our cause creates an “us against them” lose-lose situation. It’s not just leaders that stir up trouble, however, lay people often fall into the same trap. Emails, phone calls, secret meetings to plan strategy are worldly ways of conducting heavenly business.

In Proverbs 6:16-19, God tells us that there are 7 things that God finds abominable. The 7th item on the list is one who sows discord among the brothers. It is OK to disagree; in fact, disagreements usually prove beneficial as ideas are exchanged and insights shared. Not every one has to agree with everything all the time – that is an unreasonable expectation. The problem comes when we employ fleshly means to come to a spiritual conclusion. According to 1 Corinthians 3:1-4 God considers such behavior as immature and childish as choosing sides on the ball field.  It’s one thing to have a childlike faith, it’s something else altogether to act childish.

The Bible gives us both reactive and proactive instructions relating to divisions in church. First, in a reactive way, we are told to notice and avoid those who cause division (Romans 16:17, Titus 3:10-11). Then, in a proactive, prescriptive way, God tells us to seek unity not in a person, but in the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:1-3). Rather than rallying people to our side, we should make sure we are on God’s side and we should seek to know and do God’s desire rather than any individual.

Let’s stop choosing up sides and recognize that God has chosen us to be on HIS SIDE. Let’s quit trying to win people over to our favor and work feverishly to promote the kingdom of God.

 

Quiet time exercise:  read the Scriptures linked above and ask God to help you see those who cause division for what they are and to show you how you can help bring about unity of the Spirit.